The Ideal Ex-husband

anotherknifeinmybed: ghettowater: mooneymannyinthesky: sassyp...

Tue, 21 May 2013 00:58:26 -0400

ghettowater:

mooneymannyinthesky:

sassypenryn:

inoticeyoureanerdfighter:

eeriie:

“Sometime during the night of August 16th, 1952, the small town of Ashley, Kansas ceased to exist. At 3:28am on August 17th, 1952, a magnitude 7.9 earthquake was measured by the United States Geological Survey. The earthquake itself was felt throughout the state and most of the midwest. The epicenter was determined to be directly under Ashley, Kansas. When state law enforcement arrived at what should have been the outskirts of the farming community, they found a smoldering, burning fissure in the Earth in the earth measuring 1000 yards in length and approximately 500 yards in width. The depth of the fissure was never determined. After twelve days, the state-wide and local search for the missing 679 residents of Ashley, Kansas, was called off by the Kansas State Government at 9:15pm on the night of August 29th, 1952. All 679 residents were assumed to be dead. At 2:27am on August 30th, 1952, a magnitude 7.5 earthquake was measured by the United States Geological Survey. The epicenter was situated under what used to be the location of Ashley, Kansas. When law enforcement investigated at 5:32am, they reported that the fissure in the Earth had closed.

In the eight days leading up to the disappearance of the town and its 679 residents, bizarre and unexplainable events were reported by dozens of residents in Ashley, Kansas and law enforcement from the surrounding area.

On the evening of August 8th, 1952, at 7:13pm, a resident by the name of Gabriel Johnathan reported a strange sight in the sky above Ashley. The town itself, having no official branch of law enforcement, called into the police station of the neighboring town of Hays. Gabriel reported what appeared to be a “small, black opening in the sky.” Within the next fifteen minutes, the Hays police station became overwhelmed with dozens of phone calls all reporting the same phenomenon. The phenomenon was never reported by any neighboring communities. A decision was made to send a trooper to Ashley to investigate the matter the following morning.

At 7:54 am on the morning of August 9th, 1952, Hays Police Officer Allan Mace radioed the Hays Police Station. He reported that, despite following the one way road leading into Ashley, he had become lost. According to his report, the road “continued along its normal path, but somehow ended up back in Hays.” Officer Mace went on to add that the road never curved, or bent in any direction. At 9:15am, seven of the town’s 10 police cars were sent to investigate the situation, and all members of the team came to the same conclusion. The only road leading into Ashley stopped leading into Ashley, but instead led back to Hays. Phone calls continued to pour into the Hays Police Station, all reporting that the black opening in the sky continued to grow in size. All callers were advised to remain inside, and to not travel outside unless absolutely necessary. At 8:17pm, Mrs. Elaine Kantor reported her neighbors, Mr. and Mrs. Milton, and their two children, Jeffery and Brooke, missing. According to Mrs. Kantor’s phone call, the Milton’s attempted to leave town in their family car earlier in the evening. They never returned. Law enforcement officals from Hays never reported the car, or individuals, coming up the one way road.

At 7:38am on the morning of August 10th, 1952, phone calls from Ashley into the Hays Police Station reported that the town was in total darkness. The sun had never risen. At 10:15am, at the request of Hays Law Enforcement, a helicopter from Topeka, Kansas flew over the region in which Ashley, Kansas stood. The town was never observed from air.

At 12:43pm on the afternoon of August 11th, 1952, Ms. Phoebe Danielewski called into the Hays Police Station. She reported that her daugter Erica had begun to have conversions with her father, who died three years prior in a drunk driving accident. To add to her concern, Ms. Danielewski reported that Erica was attempting to go outside into the dark, to “join them.” Over the course of the next twelve hours, a reported 329 phone calls were placed into the Hays Police Station all describing similar phenomenon with the children of the town.

The following morning of August 12th, 1952, the sitation became dire. During the middle of the night, all 217 children in the town of Ashley, Kansas disappeared. A reported 421 phone calls were placed into the Hays Police Department. Unable to be of any useful assistance, Hays Law Enforcement instructed all callers to remain inside and to avoid any and all attempts at finding the missing children.

At 5:19pm on the evening August 13th, 1952, Ashley elderly man Scott Luntz reporting a growing, distant fire to the south. According to his description, the fire seemed to turn the distant black into “bright red and orange [that] seemed to extend high into the sky.” Throughout the rest of the day, calls continued in, stating that the fire, in addition to moving north, now seemed to “come out of the black sky.” No fire was ever witnessed by any of the neighboring communities or law enforcement officials.

The reports continued until 12:09am on the morning of August 14th, 1952. The last phone call, placed by a Mr. Benjamin Endicott, reported that the fire in the sky had grown so intense that it began to appear as daytime over the town. The phone call ended abruptly: (FROM THE PHONECALL PLACED BY BENJAMIN SHERMAN ENDICOTT)

Benjamin: Just hold on….wait…

(CONTINUED SILENCE)

Benjamin (con’t): Yeah, yeah I see something. It’s to the south. It looks like-

[END PHONECALL]

The next phone call wouldn’t be placed until the following evening.

The following is the entire transcript of the final phonecall to be received by the Hays Police Department out of the town of Ashley, Kansas. It was placed at 9:46pm on the evening of August 15th, 1952. In this recorded phonecall, the officer on duty is Officer Peter Welsch. The caller has been identified as Ms. April Foster.

[BEGIN PHONECALL]

Officer Welsch: Hays Police Department.

(Muffled static).

Officer Welsch: Hello?

Foster: YES…yes, hello?

Officer Welsch: Ma’am, who am I speaking with.

Foster: My name is April, April Foster. (Coughs) Please, sir. Please help me.

Officer Welsch: What is happening, ma’am?

Foster: Last night….last night they came back.

Officer Welsch: Ma’am, I’m going to need you to -

Foster: LAST NIGHT THEY CAME BACK! (Cries)

Officer Welsch: Ma’am, I’m going to need you to calm down, and speak clearly. What happened? Who came back?

Foster: (Sobbing). Everyone.

Officer Welsch: Everyone?

Foster: They all came in the fire.

Officer Welsch: What do you mean everyone?

Foster: My son…..I saw my son last night. He was walking… he was walking down the street. He was burned. Jesus Christ HE WAS BURNED.

Officer Welsch: Ma’am I -

Foster: He died last year. I raised him since he was a baby….it was just me and him. I told him to watch for cars when he rode his bike. But he never wanted to listen.

Officer Welsch: Ma’am, what you’re saying isn’t making any sense. You said everyone came back?

Foster: ARE YOU FUCKING LISTENING TO ME? EVERYONE. Everyone came back. Everyone who died, or went missing, they’re back. And they’re looking for US! (Cries). He…he said: “Mommy, I’m okay now! See, I can walk again! Where are you, Mommy? I want to see you!”(Sobs).

Officer Welsch: ….Ma’am, where are you now? Are you safe?

Foster: I’m hiding. Just like everyone else. We saw them coming through the fields….and….some people opened their doors for them. God, the SCREAMING. (Pause). I don’t know what happened to them. But their houses caught fire and they….caved in. I have my curtains drawn. I’m hiding in the closet right now and- (Silence).

Officer Welsch: Ma’am, is everything alright, are you okay?

Foster: (Silence).

Officer Welsh: Ma’am?

Foster: (Glass Breaking). Oh…oh my God.

Officer Welsh: Ma’am?

Foster: Something just came in. (Muffled cries).

Officer Welsch: Ma’am, stay as quiet as you can. Don’t make a sound.

Foster: (Muffled: “Mommy…..mommy?”). (Sobbing). He came inside.

Officer Welsch: Stay absolutely still. Don’t leave.

Foster: (Sound of muffled footsteps. Muffled: “Mommy? Mommy, where are you hiding?”)

Officer Welsch: Stay quiet.

Foster: (Sound of heavy footsteps. Laughter. Muffled: “I found you, MOMMY!”) (Indiscernable screaming and noise).

Officer Welsch: Ma’am? MA’AM??

[End phonecall].

The following morning, at 6:55am, the law enforcement officals of the Hays Police Department arrived at the location of Ashley, Kansas. A smoldering, burning fissure in the Earth was all that remained.”

I was reading this alone in the dark and had to flip the light on halfway through because I was so freaked out.

this is one of the scariest things I have ever read omfg im never sleeping again holy carp

fucking hell i thought the picture was of a bunch of furbies at first

ah shit idc bout sleep anyway

This sounds like a crossover between the Empty Child and Once Upon a Time…

togetsomesleep: sexweb: i don’t get str8 men HE EATS A...

Tue, 21 May 2013 00:19:43 -0400

togetsomesleep:

sexweb:

i don’t get str8 men

HE EATS A FUCKING POTATO I AM CRYING.

All I’m going to say is, somebody should check in these people’s basement.

i cybered on omegle today

Mon, 20 May 2013 23:23:16 -0400

You: hi
Stranger: hey
You: wanna cyber
Stranger: Depends are you a girl? ;)
You: ya
Stranger: And okay then, you start?
You: i come into ur bedroom
You: and ur sleeping
You: and i crawl under your blanket
Stranger: I'm still asleep
You: u feel me pulling down ur pants
You: and u wake up and smile
Stranger: I kiss you gently, still sleepy
You: then i smile and open the scissors around your dick and snap them closed
You: cutting off your penis
Stranger: wait
You: THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR CHEATING ON ME
Stranger: Then what...?
You: I HATE YOU
Stranger: I didn't cheat
You: you bleed to death in your bed
Stranger: i didn't cheat on you. lets restart ok
You: nobody ever knows what happened
You: i flee to mexico with your Mercedes
You: the end
Stranger: I have a mercedes?
You: not anymore faggot
Your conversation partner has disconnected.

sherlockology: Heard the story of Simon Pegg and Chris Pine...

Sun, 19 May 2013 20:21:41 -0400

sherlockology:

Heard the story of Simon Pegg and Chris Pine fooling Benedict Cumberbatch into wearing protective ‘neutron cream’ on the set of Star Trek Into Darkness, only to later tell him it wasn’t really needed, and wasn’t even real?

Well, Mr Pegg finally just shared the photographic proof of this little jest on his Twitter account…

Photo

Sun, 19 May 2013 20:04:41 -0400

misandry-mermaid: samorchard: I did a comic about marriage...

Sun, 19 May 2013 19:59:45 -0400

misandry-mermaid:

samorchard:

I did a comic about marriage equality…

Literally me right now looking at this glorious piece of art

Photo

Sun, 19 May 2013 19:40:13 -0400

lokis-army-at-221b: electronicanonsensica: Everyone is missing the biggest problem here. Fuck the...

Sun, 19 May 2013 19:29:25 -0400

lokis-army-at-221b:

electronicanonsensica:

Everyone is missing the biggest problem here.

Fuck the ads. Fuck the links. Fuck the email stuff.

Yahoo explicitly forbids pornography and sexually suggestive material on their websites and all affiliates.

That means no more porn on Tumblr.

Photo

Sun, 19 May 2013 07:06:47 -0400

tastefullyoffensive: [via]

Sat, 11 May 2013 22:56:29 -0400

tastefullyoffensive:

[via]

mamamantis: rebloggable by request! also just to nip this one...

Sat, 11 May 2013 22:52:49 -0400

mamamantis:

rebloggable by request!

also just to nip this one in the bud: i am not a literature expert and i don’t claim to be and if you are violently offended by this bc tyler durden is yr precious insurrectionist husband i suggest you keep that to yrself bc i literally could not care any less about anything in this universe

Bored and in a bad mood today.

Fri, 10 May 2013 19:23:54 -0400

woo

Moving to AZ in 2 months, 19 days.

Wed, 08 May 2013 08:01:22 -0400

If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to run around the house scared shitless.

keyboardsmashwriters: orangemuses: hogswatch: if you’re ever having problems with a boy just...

Wed, 08 May 2013 07:59:45 -0400

keyboardsmashwriters:

orangemuses:

hogswatch:

if you’re ever having problems with a boy just remember that at least he never converted his entire country to protestantism just to break up with you

oh my fucking god

I could just see the conversation a couple of years down the road. “You mean we can just kill them? Well shit, why didn’t we do that to start with? That would’ve saved us a lot of hassle…”

theslotgameoflife: mileyhighrus: this is so fucking stupid...

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 09:29:45 -0400

theslotgameoflife:

mileyhighrus:

this is so fucking stupid these people are literal scum it makes me so angry i’m so furious like if you think the FBI should surveillance mosques then they should probably surveillance christian churches too while they’re at it jesus fuck

“I’d waterboard him” AKA “I’d make him feel like he is drowning for hours until he agrees to whatever we say” Seriously this is just blatant xenophobic racist hate speech and cis white christian male empowerment. I beg for the day this shit won’t ever be aired on television.

caitymarie: neuroticats: jenngofett: Doing this next Sunday....

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 10:05:41 -0400

caitymarie:

neuroticats:

jenngofett:

Doing this next Sunday. Probably going to die.

someone do this with me.

This is so relevant to my night tonight…. So relevant.

If i don’t survive tonight, i want you guys to know i love you all.

urbancatfitters: i would absolutely punch a younger version of myself in the face

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 19:19:48 -0400

urbancatfitters:

i would absolutely punch a younger version of myself in the face

gaydannys: i would sacrifice my firstborn child to be in the...

Thu, 04 Apr 2013 18:00:31 -0400

gaydannys:

i would sacrifice my firstborn child to be in the middle of this picture.

the-modern-grrrl: Good for you. Want a cookie omg

Tue, 26 Mar 2013 21:18:24 -0400

the-modern-grrrl:

Good for you. Want a cookie

omg

aintasuperhero: don’t think there will ever be another news...

Mon, 25 Mar 2013 07:27:02 -0400

aintasuperhero:

don’t think there will ever be another news story with a title like that